Stefani Elizabeth Goerlich (born 1979) is an American author, sexologist, researcher, and relationship counselor whose work sits at the professional center of kink-aware therapy. She writes academic and self-help books on sexual and relational health, is a licensed clinical social worker with advanced specialization in forensic social work, and is an AASECT-certified sex therapist. Goerlich founded Bound Together Counseling and holds ABS board-certified Diplomate of Sexology status. She specializes in gender, sexuality, and relationship diversity—with particular emphasis on BDSM, kink, ethical non-monogamy, and kink-affirming clinical practice—and is licensed to see clients in Michigan, Ohio, Arizona, and Florida. For scene-literate readers and clinicians, she is one of the clearest contemporary voices arguing that leather and power exchange belong in competent therapy rooms, not only in dungeon lore.
Education and Credentials
Goerlich earned a bachelor’s degree in Human Service from Baker College in 2012, a master’s in Social Work with a concentration in cognitive behavioral therapy from Wayne State University in 2015, and a post-graduate certificate in sex therapy through the University of Michigan’s Sex Health Certificate Program in Ann Arbor. Combined with AASECT sex-therapist certification and forensic social-work specialization, that path positions her between academic sexology, clinical social work, and community-facing kink education rather than as a pure lifestyle Domme or pure university theorist.
Awards
- Coalition of Visionary Resources Award for Faith and Magick in the Armed Forces, 2009
- American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) Book Award, 2020
- Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR) Professional Book Award, 2022
- The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) Media Award, 2022
- AASECT Sexuality Book Award (General Focus), 2024
The cluster of AASECT, SSTAR, and SASH recognition signals peer acceptance inside mainstream sex-therapy institutions—not only inside leather community publishing.
Books and Core Themes
- Faith and Magick in the Armed Forces: A Handbook for Pagans in the Military (as Stefani Barner; Llewellyn, 2008) — early Pagan/military handbook before the full kink-clinical brand.
- The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients (Routledge, 2020) — foundational text for therapists working with BDSM clients without pathologizing consensual power exchange.
- Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy from the Leather Chair (Routledge, 2022) — expands cultural competence frameworks for clinicians who still treat kink as red-flag pathology by default.
- With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect (Sounds True, 2023) — bridge book for mixed vanilla/kink couples who need language, not shame.
- BDSM & Kink: The Basics (with Elyssa Helfer; Routledge, 2024) — concise primer for professionals and curious partners who need a clean map of the field.
Together the Routledge titles and the Sounds True couple’s guide form a ladder: clinical depth for therapists, accessible communication tools for mixed-orientation relationships, and a short basics volume for orientation.
