Koulla Kakoulli: Mistress Dometria and the Brighton Dungeon

Koulla Kakoulli (Greek: Κούλα Κακουλλή) was a British musician, professional dominatrix, and competitive bodybuilder. She was born in September 1961 in Forest Hill, London, later based in Brighton, and died on 2 or 3 August 2018 at fifty-six. Toxicology found traces of several drugs. The inquest returned an open verdict and did not fix the death as a drug death. Under the scene name Mistress Dometria she ran the Brighton Dungeon, a venue built for BDSM. Her sessions were with consenting adults.

Before the dungeon was what the public knew her for, she was already inside British alternative music. She sang and played guitar and keyboards. She backed The Only Ones and fronted her own band, Lonesome No More. The music was a family network. Her sister Zena Kakoulli married Peter Perrett, singer of The Only Ones, and managed both bands. Her brother Harri Kakoulli later played bass for Squeeze. That kinship kept her in music before dungeon ownership became the public picture.

She also competed. In the IBFA Ms. Universe Over 50 division she placed fourth in 2017 and third in 2018. The physique was part of how people knew Mistress Dometria. Filmmaker Stephanie De Palma made the documentary The Boss Lady about her actual work: an English pro domme in the dungeon, a venue owner and a working dominant, rather than a fantasy stereotype.

On 3 August 2018 she was found dead in the Brighton Dungeon. At the time she was mourning the father of three of her children. Toxicology again showed traces of several drugs, and the inquest’s open verdict left the cause unset. The coroner rarely offers a personal eulogy from the bench. Of the many people met in that job, the coroner called Koulla one of the most amazing, someone who lived as she chose and was extraordinarily well organised. She was a mother of five and had four grandchildren. In British BDSM history she is the musician with a punk-adjacent pedigree, the late bodybuilding competitor, the session dominant, and the owner of the Brighton Dungeon.