Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a 2001 Canadian horror parody superhero film from Odessa Filmworks which deals with Jesus Christ’s modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Ontario, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler and superhero El Santo. The film was written by Ian Driscoll and directed by Lee Demarbre.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter earned an honorable mention in the Spirit of Slamdance category at the 2002 Slamdance Film Festival.

Plot summary

After a spree of vampire attacks on lesbians, Father Eustace (a Catholic priest) realizes that only Jesus Christ can fight off the vampires. Eustace sends two priests to a beach, where they inform Jesus of the problem. Three vampires, including Maxine Shreck, kill the priests, but Jesus kills two of the vampires by using the lake as holy water. Maxine escapes. Jesus goes to Ottawa, gets a haircut, and buys wood to make stakes.

Thirty atheists jump out of a car and confront Jesus, only to be easily defeated. Jesus teams up with Mary Magnum and infiltrates the hospital, where they discover that mad scientist Dr. Praetorious is performing skin-transplants to make the vampires immune to sunlight. Maxine and Johnny Golgotha defeat Jesus and Mary in a rooftop-battle. Thus Mary is bitten, becoming a vampire.

Jesus calls upon a Mexican wrestler, El Santo, for help. At a nightclub, they slay dozens of vampires, but El Santo and his assistant are captured. The next day, Johnny, Maxine, and Mary capture Jesus and bring him to a junkyard where his allies are being held. Eustace is there, and he reveals that he is a vampire. A battle breaks out. Jesus simultaneously fights Dr. Praetorious at the hospital. The doctor is fatally wounded, but Jesus heals him.

At the junkyard, Eustace stabs Jesus with a stake. A bright light emerges from the wound, killing Eustace and Johnny. El Santo shields a vampire whom he loves from the light, and Jesus cures her and Mary’s vampirism. To his surprise, Mary loves Maxine, so Jesus cures her too. Later, Jesus resumes preaching, asking people to think for themselves.

Cast

Phil Caracas as Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter

Jeff Moffet as El Santo

Murielle Varhelyi as Maxine Shreck

Maria Moulton as Mary Magnum

Tim Devries as Father Eustace

Ian Driscoll as Johnny Golgotha

Josh Grace as Dr. Praetorious

Jay Stone as God (voice)

Jenny Coutts as Virgin Mary

Ivan Freud as Narrator

Reception

Time’s Richard Corliss panned the film, finding that “the comedy is slack, the song lyrics feeble, the pace torpid”. Ken Eisner of Variety took a more neutral view, finding that “the film is too silly to offend”. Jason Nolan of The Harrow deemed the production “horridly wonderful”, although uneven, noting that “[w]ith a film like this, you want it to be bumpy”. Film Threat’s Eric Campos gave the film a generally positive review.

On the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, 80% of 10 critics’ reviews are positive.

See also

Lesbian vampire

References

External links

Quotations related to Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter at Wikiquote

Odessa Filmworks: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter at IMDb

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter at Rotten Tomatoes