Jennifer Discovers Herself · Part 3 (3/4)
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“No it’s nothing like that, I’ll tell you sometime. It’s not restaurant conversation.” I seriously say.
I look nervous at her and barely audible, I add, “But you might just be worth the trouble though.”
“Fair enough… Babe!” Katie counters, but she sounds skeptical.
Now I bend really close to her and whisper, “Look, I called in sick from work so I could be here, OK? What do you want from me?” I hiss at her. Somehow upset with her doubting me.
Katie looks in my eyes for a few long seconds and seems to come to a decision and changes the topic.
She tells me about her trip to Toronto, where she went for work. A fact finding mission for the bank she works for. Something about security policies and cashpoints. I don’t know how a cashpoint works other than that I get money from it so I don’t really get it.
Much more exciting is her story about how she witnessed a delivery van knock a woman unconscious at a shopping centre there.
“How does a van knock someone unconscious?” I wonder.
“Well, the woman kinda just turned around and stepped onto the road, and the big mirror on the driver side smacked her in the face.”
“Ouch!” I cringe at the thought.
“Yea, I thought she was dead for sure. The way she fell… damn. She crumpled to the ground like a… like, I dunno… And people screamed, but she was dead silent.”
Katie looks slightly shook up at the visual in her head.
“Heh…” I smirk. “But she’s OK?”
“Dunno, I had a lunch meeting and couldn’t stay for too long. But people didn’t seem too worried after a minute or so. So I guess she survived.”
“I’m sure you’re like, super traumatized…?” I joke with her. Rubbing her hand.
“Aww…” Katie tilts her head, “You really do care.”
We both burst into laughter.
We talk and joke like old friends and have an excellent time together. We parted ways with a proper kiss this time. Damn, her hands on my neck while our tongues entangled got me all hot and bothered.
Ooof!
We also set our next date for the coming weekend and when I head home I feel a lot better about life.
My darling and I go on several dates and after the fifth we made it official and became actual girlfriends.
Or, somehow I end up in her bed. I don’t really remember. We went to a pub and had a lot of drinks. That morning I borrowed a pair of panties and when I left for work it was sort of understood that we’re a couple now.
We didn’t really say it at first, but the look in our eyes and our parting kiss made it super clear.
I guess I should tell a bit more about her. She is Katie Reeves, 30 years old. One year younger than me. She’s as tall as me at 5' 6”, I’m 5' 8”. But everything else is a little bigger about her. Her hair is longer. Her face is rounder than mine, fuller hips. Big C-cup, as opposed to my modest B. She has strong toned arms and legs too.
Compare that to slender me, the typical city girl with no real muscles to speak of. We both have a curvy build though.
She’s originally from Crawley, a large town south of London. She used to work on a chicken farm there. Hence her strong build I guess. She’s very assertive and playful, qualities I really appreciate.
She’s a real babe too. I think so anyway.
I’ve told her about Colin and Elena, and how screwed up I am because of those 2. But she didn’t seem to mind and promised me that she’ll fix me and set my mind free.
She’s my best friend! Obviously! But you know, where other friends just want to drink wine and make me forget my problems, Katie truly cares and wants to make me better.
I like that. A lot!
The next three months fly past and today Katie and I walk into Stamford some 90 miles north of London. It’s late in the afternoon.
At a pub we drop our backpacks and order 2 half pints.
“Damn, that’s too many miles Jen!” Katie complains while she wipes her face with her hand.
“Oh come off it, we only did twelve miles.” I gasp.
“Yeah? Then why are you out of breath too?” she playfully argues with me.
“It’s hot, ok?” I grumble and punch at her arm.
We do that all the time. As if we’re always fighting about everything, or make a mockery of each other. It’s all in good fun. But it sure took some getting used to her sarcasm and snark.
But she’s right, it feels like we have walked for 100 miles already. In Slovakia walking came much easier, maybe I overestimated what we’re doing now? Still, 16 to 20 miles a day should be doable.
I read that on Wikipedia…
We’re on a vacation in England, we’re hiking from Cambridge to Hadrian's Wall. Not all the way, some parts we’ll do with the train. But still, with all the walking bits combined it should be a good 100+ miles hike.
We’re on our fourth day. Tomorrow we’ll take the train to Lincoln. Then walk to Doncaster or something and then the train again. It’s a loose plan. We’re not really sure how to get to Hadrian's wall, but we’ll figure it out as we go along.
Just keep heading north, but not too far… We don’t want to end up in Scotland. Now do we?
Camping with Katie has been fun. She’s a camping girl and knows a lot about it. But she’s not really the hiking type. She can make fire with a stick though… How impressive is that?
I’m neither, I’m useless in nature… I use a lighter for fire and I have a spork and instant noodles! But I felt I needed to complete at least one big hike to make up for my failed Europe adventure.
Our beers are brought and we take a big drink.
“Gahhh! That’s nice and cold.” I exclaim. And I press the glass against my forehead.
We enjoy the cold beer and inquire for a place to stay. It so happens that the pub has three rooms above it, but they only have one room available and it only has a double bed.
We look at each other and smirk.
“Does it have a private bathroom?” I ask.
“Sure… Hot water too,” comes the confirmation.
“And breakfast?” Katie wants to know.
They can eat at the pub. Fries, breakfast, burgers and chicken and stuff. But it’s not included with the room.
“Is there a curry house nearby?” I then ask, I could really do with a curry.
There is, further down the road. That settles it.
“We’ll take it!” We call out together.
“And 2 breakfasts for tomorrow.” Katie thinks. Always efficient.
The barkeep frowns, I think that he thinks we’re taking the piss. But we’re serious.
You can see the judgement in his eyes for us sharing the room. But he says nothing and shows us upstairs. The bed is soft. The ceiling is a bit low, as we’re in a converted attic space. But it’s also cozy.
We drop our packs and I sit on the floor as I take off my smelly shoes and socks. No boots this time, just some sneakers. We camped in the bushes for the last few nights and last night we scared some sheep away when our kissing got a bit out of hand.
Today is B&B day. Or more accurately, shower day.
Katie goes quicker than me and leaves a trail of clothes and stuff as she moves towards the bathroom. I soon follow and we shower together.
“Miss Reeves, you smell like a farmgirl!” I jokingly accuse her.
“Oh piss off! Like you know what a farm smells like.” Katie grins at me and pulls me close under the cold shower water.
I yelp, I thought she used warm water. “Like cows and shit, right?” I shiver at her.
“Pfft!” She snorts. “You city chicks know nothing!”
“Oh, shut up…” I press my lips on hers and we kiss excitedly by our nakedness and playful argument.
“Did you tell your parents about us yet?” she whispers at me as we lean our foreheads together.
“I ehh… I’m working up to it.” I mumble. Fuck! How does she know?
“You worry for nothing. They already know…” she tells me.
“Please add warm water…” I turn in her arms so my back presses into her chest as she embraces me.
Katie adds warm water and leans her chin on my shoulder. “I told them last week before we left. You know? They thought it was lovely. I think they knew already.”
“YOU DID WHAT?!” I pull free from her arms and turn around.
Katie sees my distress and upset with saddened eyes. Her suspicions confirmed.
“BUT BUT! NO…! That’s not for you to tell.” I stammer. They know? Oh my god. I feel so embarrassed.
Katie looks hurt now. “Come to 2025 Jen. You can be in love with whoever you want. Unless you’re… ehh. You know? Not in love.”
“That’s not it.” I mumble. “I’m just scared. You really told them?”
She nods the affirmative.
Mom and Dad didn’t say anything to me. I guess it doesn’t matter then? And maybe this is easier, and I feel slight relief.
I step forward and hug her, she wraps her arms around me and I rest my head on her neck.
“Thanks, I guess… It’s a load off my mind… Let’s tell them properly when we get back. Ok?”
Katie says nothing and stares at the soap dispenser behind me.
We have a curry at the curry restaurant down the street and head in for an early night. Katie has been quiet and sleeps on her side with her back turned to me that night.
No cuddles for poor me.
The next morning during breakfast I finally realise her lie. Or that’s my conclusion anyway, she has to be lying…
We’re having hash-browns, egg with sausage and beans and a fat strip of bacon! And tea of-course.
“You didn’t tell anyone, did you? That’s why nobody mentioned it to me!” I ask her.
“Obviously… It’s not my place.” Katie admits. She takes a bite from her sausage.
Hmm… Busted.
“But you should. Tell them!” Katie thinks with a sad voice.
“Katie, please understand…” I start, but she cuts me off.
“No! You must understand! Admit to who you are. I put my energy into this relationship. And you lie to everybody about it. Do you realize how cheap that makes me feel?”
“Oh Katie, don’t be like that. You know I love you… It’s not as easy as just saying it. Really, I love you.”
That sounds like the stupidest thing. Because it IS that easy, except it’s not easy afterwards. I think so anyway. I’m super afraid to be rejected.
We eat in silence for a minute or so. Katie finishes her food and sits sipping tea.
“Call your parents… Right now. Tell them. Don’t they deserve to know the real you?” Katie suddenly demands.
I stare at the woman in front of me and feel torn.
I slowly swallow my beans and finally whisper, “Yes… they do…”
“Here, I’ll help you.” Katie tells me. She grabs her phone and dials a number.
I finish eating as well when the phone is picked up.
“Yes, Hello? Mrs. Hill? Yes it’s me, Katie.” Katie locks eyes with me. I’m paralyzed with fear.
“Yes, good morning.”
“Oh, we’re in Stamford right now. Yea, having breakfast.”
“Yea it’s fine, tiring to walk with a backpack. But the weather is lovely.”
“Yes. I think so too. So about why I called, I was talking to my girlfriend and it turns out she never told her parents.”
My eyes go wide and I mouth ‘please no’ at her, beckoning to give me the phone. She’s setting me up big-time.
“Uh-huh, I’ve been into girls ever since college, yes.”
“Yes, I agree. Isn’t it terrible that she lies to everyone about us?”
“Yea well, as you can imagine I’m quite disappointed with her.” Katie’s eyes bore into me.
Now I feel bad for ever lying to her. She’s actually being very mean right now, but also very right.
“What? Oh, yes tell her, Here she comes.” Katie hands me the phone with her eyes locked on me.
“MOM? NO, LISTEN…!” I call out.
“Jenny!? Is that you? What’s going on?” My mom sounds confused.
I’m quiet for several seconds.
“Hello? Jennifer?” My mom’s voice twits from the phone.
“It’s me… I’m her girlfriend…” There is a huge knot in my throat and I’m barely audible. I stare fearful at Katie. She holds my hand and looks encouraging at me.
It’s quiet for almost ten seconds and I just wait for my mom to hang up and never talk to me again.
“We know dear, everyone knows…” My mom says.
“WHAT? HOW?!” I call out. “Everyone?”
“It all makes sense now… And how can it not? Every time you mention her or when you two are together you’re on cloud nine. And it’s fine. Your father and I think it’s sweet. Finally something to distract you from Colin, right? She’s so very nice. Bring her by for supper again ok? You can tell us all about it. Have some tea and we’ll have a…”
“MOM!” I interrupt her motherly rambling.
“She’s not a distraction! We’re for real. I want to spend my life with her. I think! Do you understand what I am? Do you get what I'm saying?”
Katie smiles for the first time that morning and nods lovingly at me. Squeezing my hand. But I barely notice she’s there.
“Yes dear. Of-course I get it. Everyone gets it. I’m just saying we respect your choice.”
“It’s not a choice… It’s who I am…” I whisper.
“Yes, well. It kinda is. Very understandable. Finally you’re over Colin. Who was nice also. But not a good man for you. Seeing that after two years he still didn’t move forward? It’s like you two were stuck… And you look very different recently. At first we thought something terrible had happened on your vacation. Seeing you got back so soon? But now I know… You came home to Katie, right? Maybe now you finally can start a family and be happy. And did you know there is this statistic that girl couples are more hap…”
I look helplessly at Katie. And cringe at the stupid rambling of my mother. I’m so uncomfortable. This is so not how I want to start the day.
“MOM! Shut up! I’m hanging up now! Bye…” I interrupt her again. I’m devastated, but relieved. Mostly devastated though.
Most awkward phone call ever.
Katie leans in and kisses me. “See? Don’t you feel better? I want to spend the rest of my days with you too!”
“NO! Don’t ever put me through that again.” I whimper. I storm out of the pub and hide in our room.
Two hours later we head to the train station. Other than to communicate about what way to walk I haven’t said a word to Katie.
I’m not really upset with her, but I am totally weirded out from the phone call.
Start a family? Stuck with Colin? What the fuck was mom talking about. She knows lesbian couples don’t get kids right? Any why insinuate that at all?
Damn!
Katie had asked me to let her know when I was about to kill her, her way of saying that she’s there to talk to me if I need it. And now she is giving me some space and saunters ahead of me, sort of taking the lead as she usually does and I moodily follow her.
I look at the back of her legs, she wears jeans shorts, a black tank top and a bandana. Most of her back is hidden behind her backpack. The fabric spanning around her firm butt… Oh god, I want to touch her. I wish I had her body. I should go to the gym and be more like her.
Yes! I think. I’m gonna put on some weight and train and look like her. We’ll be the hottest couple in town!
Ugh! I’m obsessing over her, just like I did with Colin. I’m such a weirdo freak!
At the train station ticket machine I catch up with her and quietly cup her left butt cheek. She’s a real handful, I think. With a soft moan she looks over her shoulder and sees me idly stare at my hand on her behind.
She talks to me, “Jen, hey Jenny? What are you doing?”
“Huhwhat?” I snap out of my trance and quickly remove my hand.
“Nothing. I was just…” My voice trails off. “I want your body… Never mind…” I sigh
Katie smirks, “Hey, I’m sorry about this morning. I just felt left out.” She apologizes.
“You’re not left out, Kat! I just didn’t tell anyone. No big deal!” I burst out.
“Same thing…” She quietly says.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble a few minutes later when we look for a bench in the shadow on the station platform. “I feel like everyone judges us, all the time. Even the barman yesterday when we said we share the room… Did you see his look?”
Katie frowns and sits next to me.
“Just ignore what people think of us. Can you try? What do you care?” Katie whispers back as she leans her head on my shoulder. “Just don’t hide me.”
“I’m not hiding you!”
“OK.” Katie gives up. “You’re just weird then.”
“Yes… deal with it!” I admit with my own flavor of snark.
Katie grins, “I love you, weirdo!” She whispers as she kisses my cheek.
I wrap my arm around her shoulder. “Just love me ok? That's all I ask. I’ll deal with my own shit.”
“Sure, and what’s this about you wanting my body? You said?” Katie wonders.
“You look so good, all firm and muscular. I’m so skinny…” I complain.
Katie whispers. “You’re my little Jenjen. I like how you…”
I don’t hear what she says next as the train enters the station and makes a racket. I’m sure it’s something nice.
On the train I force myself to get some sleep. My head is on her lap and she strokes my hair as I nod off. She alternates between looking outside and at me.
I’m not really tired. But I want to clear my head. I can’t get over the fact that my parents approve of me. Maybe the talk with my mom was a good thing. But I don’t feel that way. And I don’t want to face her for the next month or so. Maybe the next decade?
I wake up 20 minutes later and my embarrassed feeling is mostly gone. I think. Maybe just for strangers. I don’t know.
“Kat?”
“Yes dear?”
“Is it weird that I’m so obsessed with my partners?”
She frowns at me, “What do you mean, obsessed?”
“Yeah, like before I met you? I went 120% for it and my life revolved around him… I tried so hard to make it work, it’s a bit nutty. I just realized that this morning.”
“And now?” Katie wonders.
“It’s worse now… I even want to look like you.” I admit to the nut inside me.
Katie laughs out loud, “Isn’t that cute? I mean, it also means you’re loyal, right?”
I nod, “I guess… Maybe more like a psycho.”
Katie says nothing but tickles me under my chin. I squirm like a cat under her touch.
Then I change the topic, “I don’t feel embarrassed anymore. Isn’t that weird?”
“No, it means you’re finally unburdened and free…” Katie thinks.
“Maybe…” I hesitate.
“Just enjoy life, enjoy being you. Stop caring so much about what the world thinks… They’re all idiots anyway.” Katie assures me.
I stick out my tongue at her.
“Hey, if we haven’t killed each other when we get home, let’s move in together yea?” Katie suggests with a serious face.
“So soon?” I start to object, “Oh hell, why not. I can drive you nuts all day long then.”
Now Katie sticks out her tongue at me. And we both laugh.
“Actually, I’d like that, Katie. Very much…” I whisper at her.
I roll on my side with a smile and bury my face into her stomach.
Katie pulls her shirt over my head and I giggle as I place a big sloppy kiss next to her bellybutton.
When I roll on my back again I stare up in the dim light under her shirt and see her breasts heave over me.
“Where is our bra?” I wonder.
“I eh… I didn’t feel like wearing one.” Katie says.
I didn’t notice at all that she was braless before.
“It’s beautiful in here…” I praise her smooth globes.
She giggles, “Silly… Just some saggy old tits.”
“There’s nothing saggy about you Kat!”
“I know… I’m just being sarcastic.”
“That’s what I meant earlier, I want to look like you. We can be hot together…” I tell her.
“We’re already hot together, Jennifer, that’s why people look at us.” Katie informs me.
I have no answer to that. So she does notice people looking… But maybe she’s right.
That afternoon I’m mostly back to normal. Renewed purpose fills me with energy.
Katie decides we’ll stay in a cheap hotel and we do some laundry.
Over the next few days we chat and joke about our regular nonsense as we cross many fields and follow footpaths heading north. When we camp out in the bushes we snuggle up to each other, almost every night we have sex, trying to stay quiet.
Tents are not soundproof after all. We’re both very aware of that. Even though she is far less of a prude than I am.
I haven’t really figured out the whole lesbian sex thing yet and prefer it if Katie uses her strap-on. I can be the girl and she the ‘man’. But she didn’t bring it.
Instead we’re in our sleeping bag and finger each other while kissing and groping at each other. We often suck and nibble on each other's nipples, it feels so good. I also like it if our breasts press together. Or when she bites my neck. We're not so wild or experimental I guess. But I don't care as long as we feel good doing it.
We’re so unhampered and intimate. It’s really good for my mood and confidence.
With men, it always felt like a bit of a discovery of what to do at first. With Katie, everything we do just sort of comes naturally.
I guess the ‘we-know-what-works-because-we-are-both-women’ thing is true.
Messages from friends keep arriving. Because of-course my mom couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut and told my other best friend, Marie, who told everyone else. But just as Katie said… Life goes on and nobody really cares. Most people already suspected it. Well, Lillian says she thinks I’m stupid, but maybe she’s just jealous?
I’ll talk to her someday. Or not.
Honestly, with how Katie is my super friend and how I spend so much time with her. I don’t really mind a few less ‘regular’ friends. So whatever.
For now it seems I can finally relax in my relationship and stop being embarrassed with my life’s choices.
We finally reach Hadrian’s Wall over a week later and set up camp on a campsite while we explore the area.
When we’ve seen enough we take a train back to London.
Our first vacation together is a great success!
Katie thinks so too, in the following week she pesters and prods me until I move in with her. She lives in a 2 bedroom apartment in Woolwich, on Wellington Street. There is a block of new built apartment buildings and she owns a place on the 7th floor of the 12 story tower block. She's got the better view, so of-course I move in with her. It's a mere 3 or 4 miles from my boring townhouse, which doesn't have a view.
I've never had so much enjoyment from life as with her. She’s super cool towards me. We cook together, we watch TV, and we ignore each other. We chase after each other laughing like kids. Sometimes we fight and throw stuff at each other. It's all great!
Where Colin was always a calculated quiet type, Katie is pretty much the opposite. We’re always busy, entertaining, and playful. Just how I often like to be as well. Where being with Colin was almost like a refuge from the world. He could sit, reading a book, all afternoon and not say a word.
Katie and I are almost always busy with something.
As we should be, and it's never boring. Also great!
4 – Kinks rediscovered Over the past year I have grown my hair a bit longer, it's now halfway down my back. Because of Katie I've lost my city girl look a little. I’ve turned from H&M to outdoorsy outfits. With all the out-of-city adventures we go on it just makes sense to have such clothes too. And I really like the look.
I gained some weight too, I almost match Katie’s clothing size these days. But finding the discipline to train more and muscle up is hard. But she keeps telling me that I'll always be her cute little Jenjen.
Katie, or Kat as I often call her, turned 31 two months ago. We went to Blackpool for the weekend to celebrate. We stayed in a sea-view hotel. Enjoyed fancy dinners and looooots of beer.
So much fun!
Anyway, she used to have long flowing hair, but recently cut it short. It barely reaches her shoulders now. Katie is a simple girl with her hair, she lets it grow for a few years and maybe makes simple ponytails until she gets tired of
