Fate · Part 3 (3/4)
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e to approach her. At least, he knew, she wouldn't make a scene. He swallowed the last of his coffee through the lump in his throat then walked over to where she was sitting with her friends. He put a hand on her shoulder and smiled, "Fyre, it's great to see you again."
She turned and looked at him when she felt the hand on her shoulder and about choked on her mouthful of Coke when she saw who was standing there. She stared at him, wide-eyed, for a minute before she could answer. "Darious. What are you doing here?"
All conversation at the table stopped when he started to talk. Her three friends stared open mouthed at the tall, handsome, older man that, obviously, was very familiar with their friend. They sat quietly, their eyes darting back and forth between the two.
Darious crouched down so he would be at eye level with her. He stared into those brown doe eyes that had haunted his dreams for so long, and almost lost all power of speech. He moved his hand down and placed it over hers and gave it what, he hoped, was a reassuring squeeze, "It's been a long time hasn't it?"
She nodded, looking deep into his piercing blue eyes. She was resisting the urge to wrap herself around him and hold him once again. Truth be told, she DID miss him and was very glad to see him. She had thought a lot about him since their parting, but she was realistic; she could not be with him because of what he was. It almost broke her heart all over again to see him right beside her and know she would have to tell him to leave. When she had had to leave him in Alaska, it was one of the hardest things she had ever done in her entire life. She had done it without looking back because, if she had, she would have turned around, not a viable option.
She thought the whole thing was funny, in its own weird sort of way. Here she was, Lady Danyealla herself, the oldest, most powerful and feared she-devil above ground and she had fallen hard for the one being in the universe that was incapable of returning her feelings, a demon. But no, she couldn't do things halfway; she hadn't fallen for just any demon, no, not her; she had to fall for the Lord of Lust, Sex and Decadence himself. Well, no one ever said she did anything in half measures. There was also the added bonus that even she couldn't be with a demon unless she possessed him and made him her pet.
It was painful to sit and look into his eyes once again after over a century of being apart. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could feel a flutter of excitement in her stomach. She tried to not let her emotions show and gave him a small smile, "Yes, Darious, it's been a very long time."
Her friends sat there, watching the exchange intently, twittering back and forth amongst themselves.
Darious ignored them completely, but their inane chatter was seriously getting on his nerves. He kept his eyes locked with hers. "I've missed you a great deal, Fyre. Is there somewhere we can talk more privately?"
A surge of relief coursed over her. She didn't want to tell him to get lost in the middle of a public place, but she would if she had to. She grabbed her drink then stood up, "Follow me." She then walked briskly out of the restaurant, with him hot on her heels.
She led him across the parking lot into the park that was a part of the campus. After a bit of walking, she found a secluded area where they could talk privately.
He stopped. Her back was to him but he smiled. It was so wonderful to be this near her again. They had parted well in Alaska, so he didn't anticipate any problems in re-establishing a relationship again. "You are just how I remember you."
Being alone with him made her heart soar, and sink at the same time. She desperately wanted to be with him again, but knew she couldn't set herself up for that kind of hurt. She just couldn't take that again. She took a few deep breaths and shut her eyes, feeling her heart ache at what she knew she had to do. It was time for her to be the cold-hearted bitch everyone said she was. She could feel a rage and anger build up inside of her, against the hurt that she knew she was going to inflict upon herself. In it was also frustration and anger at not being able to have the one thing in the world that she wanted most, to be with him and to have him be able to return what she felt for him. When she turned around to face him, her eyes were filled with the pain and anger she was feeling. "What in the hell are you doing here, Darious?" She hissed at him.
He blinked rapidly and took a step back. He had expected several different reactions, but not anger, and was taken aback and confused by it. "I…I was out here on some business, and after I found out where you lived, I wanted to see you again."
She glanced at him, "Fine. You've seen me. Now leave." She felt, when those words came out of her mouth, like someone had just ripped her heart out and stepped on it. She wanted to scream, yell, throw things, something, anything to ease the pain. He looked at her, bewildered, the hurt those words caused evident in his eyes. "What's wrong? I thought we had an amicable parting in Alaska?"
"We did. But that was then, this is now. That is long over, Darious. We have both moved on." Every word she said bit deeper into her soul, causing the anger to intensify within her.
He looked at her, even more bewildered. "I'm confused. Why are you reacting this way, if we parted on good terms? I don't understand."
She looked off over the park, unable to look in his eyes. "What we once had was good, and, yes, we parted on good terms. But that was a long time ago, Darious. Things have changed. I don't want to see you anymore."
He just stared at her, mouth open. "I, at least, deserve an explanation for all of this, Danyealla. With everything we went through together I deserve THAT much" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He spent all this time longing and looking for her, now she was rejecting him!
She looked back at him, eyes cold and hard. "I don't owe you anything, Darious. But I'll explain it this way. This is not Germany; times have changed. I have changed. It was what it was in Germany. We both had a job to do then, and we each made excellent cover for the other. That is all it was. That is all over now, so us being together has no purpose. So, leaving all this in the past is for the best. Forget me and move on, Darious."
"I can't forget you!" He hissed through clenched teeth. He could feel his anger rising as the hurt he was feeling grew. "I've tried to forget you, and can't."
"You need to give me a better explanation than you just did, because what you just fed me was a load of bunk, and we both know it!"
She glared back at him. "I don't owe you shit, Darious!"
"Yes, you do! I've never done anything to you to earn being treated in this manner." He shouted at her. "I though we meant something to each other after all the time we spent together."
She just looked at him. "Forget me, Darious. Forget me and move on. We can't ever be together again. Accept that, and find someone else. Act like I never existed."
"I can't forget you, can't your understand that? I've tried. I dream about you still, about the way we were together; about the way you held me, how you were the only being that WOULD do it willingly, because you wanted to, not because I asked you, or forced you to, how you were the only being ever that wasn't the least bit frightened of me. I can't forget any of that.
"Your eyes still haunt my dreams. I close my eyes at night and still see them.
"I have tried to forget you but I can't, I just can't! I've tried to find someone else, but there just isn't anyone that can measure up to you." He told her softly, stepping closer. "Please, Danyealla, tell me the real reason I can't be back in your life."
"Because you're a mother-fucking demon, that's why!" She shouted.
He looked around, in alarm, to see if anyone had heard what she had said, but there wasn't anyone close by. He then looked back at her and hissed, "Please keep your voice down. You may be able to withstand being outed, and go on with your life much as you have before, but I can't. It would ruin me.
"What I am never bothered you before. Why, now, is it the reason I have to stay out of your life?"
She just stood there and stared at him for a minute before she answered. "In Germany, you served a purpose for me, so I overlooked it. Now, that purpose is gone. I don't want to be with a demon. I just can't go through it all over again. I couldn't stand it. I've had enough hurt in my life that I refuse to subject myself to anymore. I just can't take it."
"How did I hurt you? I never did anything to hurt you, ever! I wouldn't." He said, totally befuddled and bewildered.
She looked back at him, eyes full of hurt and anger. "Yes, Darious, you hurt me. What you are hurts me. I am not going to subject myself to that again. I just can't tolerate that anymore."
"If I did hurt you, tell what I did. I know I can't fix it but I won't ever do it again." He was searching his memory for something, ANYTHING, he may have done to hurt her, but couldn't think of a thing. As a matter of fact, he had gone out of his way not to hurt her, from his recollection.
She sighed, and looked away. She wasn't about to tell him the real reason behind the hurt; he could use it as an advantage against her. "Just go, Darious. Just leave, and forget you ever found me. Forget me, and move on. That's the best thing for both of us."
"I can't forget and move on, I keep telling you that!" He hissed at her. "Are you afraid of me? Is that the problem?"
She looked at him blandly. "I'm not afraid of anything anymore, including your ultimate boss.
"Just walk away, Darious; just walk away and forget me."
"I can't! Don't you get it? Tell me what is going on and perhaps we can come to some understanding about it." The hurt he was feeling was starting to make his temper boil. He wanted to lash out but in doing so he knew that would just make the situation all the worse. He was trying to keep a tight hold on it, but it wasn't easy.
She glared at him. "There can't be any 'understanding', Darious. It's over, done, kaput, finished. Accept that. Go away and leave me alone!" She was fighting the urge to throw herself into his arms and never again let go. But, she knew that wouldn't solve anything. She could see the hurt in his eyes, the same hurt she was feeling. She was trying to do this without getting either of them hurt anymore than they already were, but he wasn't letting that happen. It was killing her to see the pain in his eyes, knowing she caused it, but he wasn't leaving her any other choice.
"I cannot accept that there is no mutual solution to this. I can't! You need to tell me just what the exact problem is, then I am sure, between the two of us, we can work out a solution. There is always a way. Just tell me, please!" He could feel her slipping away from him, and he refused to let her go without a fight.
She shook her head vigorously, "There is no solution, Darious. You cannot change what you are and what you are is what the problem is! There is no fixing that."
He looked at her, a confused look on his face, "My nature is lust, sex and decadence, I don't see where that is a problem. You seemed to like it before, as a matter of fact. But I can suppress that around you if need be."
She shook her head, "Your nature isn't the problem; your physiology is the problem. You are a demon and there isn't a damn thing you can do to change or suppress that. Because of that, you are incapable of giving me what I need and long for from you. There isn't any way around that, Darious." When those words came out of her mouth, she could feel her heart breaking all over again.
He looked at her in stunned silence for a moment, then opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again. She had given him something that was very hard to argue with. After pondering for a minute, he replied softly, "I can try. Just tell me what it is you need and want and I will do my best to give it to you. Just give me a chance. That is all I am asking from you, a chance."
She shook her head sadly, "There is no way around what you are, Darious."
He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, trying desperately to think of something, anything to get beyond what she said. His mind raced over every possible scenario but none were viable.
She stood there with her head lowered, fighting back the tears that were threatening. Over the years, she had played over every solution she could think of to the problem, but could come up with nothing. It was going to break her heart all over again to see him walk back out of her life; she didn't think she could stand it, but it was the only way. The alternative would hurt even worse. She leaned her head back and shut her eyes to keep the tears from spilling over.
He walked around in circles, muttering to himself, eyes on the ground trying to come up with something, anything, to be in her life once again. After several minutes of deep thought, an idea hit him. He walked back over and knelt down in front of her. "Danyealla, Dani, Kat, I will give you everything I have, my company, everything I own, and will be your pet, your toy, your slave, anything you want, just to be able to be in your life. That should give us all the time we need to work out any issues we have."
She looked down at him and shook her head sadly. "No, Darious. I have never had a pet as long as I have been alive and am not going to start with you. Besides, what I want from you I can't get by possessing you."
He sighed deeply and looked up into her eyes. He could see unshed tears in them, sparkling. He reached up to touch her face but she caught his hand and gently stopped it.
"Please, Darious, don't. You are making this harder on both of us than it has to be. Lets just both walk away now and not make it any worse than it already is."
He stood up and rose to his full seven foot height, towering over her diminutive, slight 5'3" frame and looked down at her, quiet. He felt like there was a war going on inside him, pulling him in two different directions. His natural instinct was telling him to say fuck it and either posses her or walk away. But there was something else there, something he had never heard or felt before telling him to tough it out and stay, that they would find a way to work it out. The more he listened to that new instinct the stranger he felt. He was used to the hot lava feeling that always coursed through his veins, that maintained his constant inferno-like body heat.
But as he looked down into her eyes, delicious and comforting warmth started to surge through his veins and envelope him. He looked down at her, his eyes softening, "Can we go somewhere else and talk? Somewhere a bit more private, maybe? You can choose the place."
She looked up into his eyes, trying to detect any kind of trickery, but saw nothing. She knew she shouldn't, that she should put an end to it right now and walk away, but she couldn't. She wanted to spend as much time with him as she could before the inevitable came and she would never see him again. She gave him the barest of nods. "I know somewhere we can go. I'll drive up. She then started out for the McDonalds parking lot, with him close on her heels.
He got his large frame squeezed into the little sports car and the door shut as the powerful engine roared to life, and she made a squealing exit out of the parking lot. Once she was on the freeway, she picked up her cell phone and started speaking rapidly into it in a language he didn't know or understand. He divided his time between glancing at her trying to understand the conversation, and hanging onto the dashboard for dear life, his whole life flashing before his eyes. She was doing at least 30 mph above the speed limit and was weaving in and out of the heavy traffic, paying no attention to the other cars. She turned off the freeway and navigated the narrow streets with ease, until she pulled behind a biker bar in a shabby run down area close to Compton. She then got out, and stood waiting for him.
He pried himself out of the small car and looked around warily. "Are you sure about leaving your care unattended? This isn't the best of neighborhoods."
She chuckled and grinned. "Ain't nobody gonna' bother my car. They know better." She then opened the backdoor to the bar and walked in.
When he walked in and caught the smell he understood her statement perfectly. This was a werewolf bar, a rogue and outcast one, no less. They weren't going to mess with ANYTHING of hers. Werewolves were known to be highly cautious of she-devils, since even the youngest could kill a full-grown male werewolf with relative ease. He chuckled deeply and shook his head. "No wonder you aren't worried."
She grinned, "Not a bit. The owner owes me a favor, so we can have the backroom for a bit. They won't bother us, no matter what they hear." She walked over to one of the booths along the wall that had two bottles and glasses on it. She sat down on the edge of the table and picked up the bottle of werewolf moonshine, called Werewolf Piss, filled the empty beer mug with it, then took a long swallow. Darious walked over and picked up the bottle of brandy sitting there and examined it. It wasn't the highest quality in the world, but it was passable. Certainly, it was a far sight better than what she was drinking. He poured some in the snifter and swallowed about half of it. He then leaned against the booth and looked at her. "Are you now ready to tell me what is going on?"
She sighed and looked down. "Darious, I know I am hurting you by telling you to leave. It's hurting me too, a lot more than you know. But it's going to hurt a lot more if we are together. So leaving it just like it is for the best."
He shook his head, "I cannot accept that. How would it hurt more if we were together? I don't understand that."
She looked down at the floor and shook her head. "Darious," she sighed again, then was silent. She was trying to formulate a way to best phrase this, to minimize his hurt, and to not leave herself open for any manipulation. "Being what you are, you cannot give me what I want from you, and to be with you, without being able to have that part of it, would be a worse pain than being apart from you."
It seemed to him that she was glossing over something, either being unwilling or unable to tell him. "OK, that explains at least part of it. Now, if you would, would you please explain to me what it is I can't give you that you are wanting from me. Maybe I can and you just don't know it. Or maybe it's just something I have to work on to be able to do it is all."
She shook her head sadly, "It isn't, Darious. It is something that what you are prevents you from being able to do."
He sighed, deeply. "Just tell me, please. You say I can't, but maybe you're wrong. Maybe, with some work, I can give it to you. Neither of us will know for sure until you tell me."
She shook her head sadly. "Darious, just accept my word for it that you can't and let us both move on. Over the years I have thought about the problem from every possible angle, but there is no solution. Please, just accept that. I am not some cold hearted bitch that is trying to drive you away just for the sake of seeing how much pain I can inflict on you. I have a reason for this. Over the years I have desperately wanted to see you again. Yes, I knew where you were, I have always known where you were, since you left Alaska, but I didn't, because it would have just put us in the same situation we are now."
"How could you have known where I was for all these years and NOT come to see me? How? I cannot believe this situation is insurmountable. Nothing ever is. Just tell me what it is and together we will be able to find a solution, of that I am positive, Danyealla." He stepped closer to her, and tried to take her hands but she pulled them away before he could.
"Please don't do this, Darious." She whispered. "You are just hurting me more than I already am. Just walk away now, for both our sakes, please."
He could feel his anger starting to boil again. "Don't you get it? I can't walk away from you!" he shouted.
"Something about you, I don't know what, keeps drawing me like a moth to a flame. I cannot stop thinking of you. I need to be with you, and will stop at nothing until I am. There is no problem, no matter how large, that can stop me from attaining that goal. Whatever the problem may be, I will find a solution to it. All you need do is tell me what it is. It may take time, but I will find a viable solution. Just give me that chance, that is all I ask of you."
"Darious, please, don't do this." She stood up and looked up into his eyes; hers filled with all the pain and anguish she was feeling. "There is no solution for this. And I can't stand to be hurt again. I enjoyed being with you as much as you enjoyed being with me. It hurt me, worse than you know, when I had to leave you. Do you know why I never looked back when I left?"
He looked down into her eyes and was silent. In his mind, he could see her get out of the crudely fashioned bed they shared in the Alaskan cave, put on the knapsack and shift into her animal form, the beautiful clouded leopard, and take off out of the cave and across the snow covered Alaskan tundra without so much as a glance back over her shoulder, or a goodbye. "No, why?"
Her large deep doe eyes were starting to shimmer with tears again, "Because, if I had I couldn't have left. I didn't have a choice then, I had to go. Like now, I don't have a choice, we can't be together."
"But this isn't the same situation! We have a choice, now, all you have to do is make it."
She reached up and softly stroked the side of his face with her fingers, feeling a jolt of excitement from once again touching him. "No, it's not the same now. It's actually far less complex but the outcome is the same; I still can't be with you."
He reached up and put his and over hers, feeling a surge of excitement. He gazed down into her eyes, seeing all the pain and suffering contained in them. His gut started to twist into a knot at the sight. "Explain it to me then. Tell me the reason why, and how, I am causing you all this pain that even I can see in your eyes. I don't want to hurt you, but if I don't know what I am doing, I can't stop it."
She smiled at him sadly, "haven't your figured it out yet, Darious? It hurts so badly because I have a great deal for feelings for you, and being what you are, you will never be able to return them. I can't be with someone that, first of all, doesn't even know what they are, let alone how they feel, then will never be able to return them. To live like that would be a form of torture of the worst kind. Then, there is the extra added bonus that it is in your nature to manipulate and use someone's feeling to get what you want from them. I am old, Darious, and have been hurt enough in my long life. Despite what people say, I am not hard, cold and impervious to pain and, to have what I feel for you used against me, would almost surely destroy me. That is something I can't risk anymore."
He looked down at her wide-eyed, in shock. "I would NEVER do that to you! EVER!" The tears that had been sparkling in her eyes were now starting to roll down her cheeks. He gently wiped them away and looked back into her eyes. "I could never do that to you, Danyealla. There are exceptions to everything in this universe, and for me you are that exception. I would never…no… COULD never do that to you. In hurting, or using, you I would be hurting myself. I feel something for you, too. I don't know exactly what it is, but it is so powerful that it entirely overrides my nature, and what I am when I am around you."
She just looked at him and said, "Darious…"
He cupped her face in his hands and looked at her earnestly. "I'll prove it to you! I'll do what no demon should be able to do." He got down on his knees, and looked up into her eyes, taking her hands into his. "Marry me, Danyealla. Be my wife."
She reached out and stroked his hair softly, shaking her head sadly. "Darious, marriage is for humans, not for the likes of us. It's no real commitment to anything. Your lawyer could untangle you from it in 10 minutes flat."
He sighed deeply and lowered his eyes. She was right of course. He thought hard for several minutes, trying to come up with something else, when a peace such as he had never known seemed to envelope him, and before he knew what happened, he looked back up at her and said softly, "Be my mate, then."
She looked down at him in stunned silence, her mouth hanging open. Mating was very different from marriage. It was far more binding; it meant forever, and there was now way out of it. There was no formal ceremony needed, no piece of paper that needed to be signed but was more binding than any human contract. "Do you even have any idea what that means, and the rami
